'Tennis Parents'

We are all aware that over-Zealous ‘Tennis Parents’ put heavy pressure on their teen-aged child and even on the pre-teens are not spared. This enormous pressure is exerted on the innocent child by the mom-dad to see their kids scale the heights of achievements.

The pressure i.e. the stress of these ‘Tennis Parents’ comes in many forms – commonly through small mental methods and one of them is playing one child down towards another ("How come Shivani's forehand is far better compared to yours? -- Don't you think so you need to practice more on a regular basis?" Very common method of giving pressure is daunting a young child of a loss in some benefit or value if he/she will not perform, such as – ("Forget about that new cell phone if you don't defeat Shivani").

Further such ‘Tennis Parents’ puts more stress on the kids by taunting them on their personal interest - "I know you want to spend more time with your friends, but I am aware what's best for you, and what's best is that you simply spend couple of more hours on practicing your forehands.

If truth be told then in a few extreme cases, the pressure turns into cruel act in the form of actual physical/bodily abuse.

On an international level, probably the most (in)famous ‘Tennis Parents’ of all is Jim Pierce, whose daughter, Mary, had been for several years among the game's top women players.

During the early 1990's, Jim Pierce’s conduct became so menacing to his daughter that she employed bodyguards and got preventive orders to safeguard herself from him.

In 1993, he was restricted} by the Women's Tennis Association from entering/attending tournaments, although that ban was lifted a couple of years} later.

The other in-famous episode was of the relationship between Jelena Dokic and that of her father Damir, their relations were strain as her father physically abused her and ultimately she left her home to escape the physical abuse meted by her father.

There are number of familiar cases of exactly what can only be identified as child abuse which led to premature retirement and also the destruction of the parent/child relationship.

These are just those instances in which the child reaches an international level of play where the bully activity of such abusive ‘Tennis Parent’ is highlighted and exposed, consider simply how much of this kind of thing keeps going at the lower levels.

Whenever I have a look at a number of ‘Tennis Parents’ today -- in contrast to 20 years or Two-and-a-half decades ago, when most parents could actually draw the difference between a supportive influence as well as an overbearing, constraining one -- I can't help but take notice of the same kind of unhealthy obsession with their child's performance that characterises a lot more notorious of ‘Tennis Parents’.

These ‘Tennis Parents’ forget the fact that most critical thing is to motivate and help the kid to develop a love/passion for the sport, but their abusive behaviour with the kid is a guarantee that their child's involvement with the sport is going to be short-lived.

A person who has competed at higher level of sport knows that there's nothing worse than suffering the additional burden of unwanted pressure, particularly coming from a parent (or coach) who have zero knowledge of what the game is all about -- but who thinks they actually do.

Living weird life through their son or daughter, or trying to impress other parents with their child's ability, or secretly looking to eventually live off their child's earnings, the Tennis Parent is driven by way of a compulsive need to control each and every aspect of his / her child's career, often based on a groundless assumption that their son or daughter is destined for tennis stardom.

I was told by Akhtar Ali Sir (Indian Davis Cup Coach and recipient of Padma Shri) that – “Remember Mr. Gomes, Allan is your SON FIRST then a Tennis Player”. – So True. Thank you Sir for the golden guidance and today me and Allan are the best pal.

My experience says Tennis Parent have to be a rock solid ‘Supporting System’ to the child’s tennis program, motivate them and love them.

To Your Massive Tennis Success
Alex Gomes
9824060060
alexgomesee@gmail.com

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